How to Improve Your Relationship
You can improve your relationship. But it starts with you.
Keeping a relationship healthy takes work. Trying to mesh two people with with different schedules, different backgrounds, and different ways of viewing the world is difficult.
You Are In Charge of Yourself
The only thing you can control in your relationship is yourself. And hoping your relationship will change once your partner does isn’t healthy. All you can do to improve and strengthen your relationship is work on yourself.
1: Set Clear Boundaries
One way you can improve your relationship is by setting clear boundaries. It may sound a little backwards to have boundaries between you and your partner, but they act as the building blocks of your relationship.
Boundaries set expectations for how you should be treated. They outline to your partner what you like and what you don’t like. With clear boundaries, you and your partner can build the relationship you want.
2: Improve Your Conflict Resolution Skills
How you fight says a lot about your relationship. And you will fight. People make mistakes. Life throws curveballs. Boundaries get crossed. Improving your conflict resolution skills and how you fight with your partner will strengthen your relationship. Try focusing on the following:
- Taking deep breaths
- Taking a 15 minute break (But come back to the discussion)
- Don’t use name calling
- Don’t weaponize vulnerable information your partner has shared with you
- Don’t use violence of any kind (And do not tolerate violence of any kind)
- Use statements like, “I feel ___ when you ___.”
3: Be Accountable For Your Mistakes
You’re not going to be a perfect partner. But you can take responsibility for your mistakes. Apologize when you’ve hurt or disappointed your partner. Then do your best to make amends. Being accountable for your actions, trying to fix them, and working to not repeat them helps to rebuild trust in your relationship. It shows that you respect how your partner feels and you are trying to improve.
4: Bring More Joy to Your Life
The happier you are, the happier of a person you can be in your relationship. It is not your partner’s job to make you happy. They can support you in your pursuit of happiness, but if you can’t even make yourself happy, how can your partner?
Spend some time bringing joy to your life. Try a new hobby. Travel to a new place. Get that promotion at work. Get a new job. Decorate your home. Go to the gym. Take a bubble bath. Visit friends and family. Read a book. Get that degree. Take a walk.
When we’re in a committed relationship, sometimes we can feel guilty spending free-time away from our partner. But adding more joy into your own life will carry over into your relationship.
5: Take Care of Your Basic Needs
Listen, if you are not taking care of yourself, you cannot take care of your relationship. The healthier and refreshed you are, the more energy you’ll have for your relationship. You’ll be less grumpy, less stressed, less irritated, less overwhelmed, all of which make it difficult to be a good partner.
Every day you need to take care of your basic needs.
Drink at least 8 glasses of water each day.
Get 8+ hours of sleep each night (the more the better).
Move your body for at least 30 minutes every day (walk, jog, cycle, swim, play a sport, lift weights, play outside with your kids, etc.).
Eat nutritious foods (enjoying a treat is okay, just be sure to get in a lot of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein, too!).
Do one activity that lowers your stress every day (yoga, meditation, bubble bath, walk, journal, exercise, speak with a therapist, etc.).
Conclusion
You can improve your relationship. But it starts with you. Improving yourself and adding more to your life will add more to your relationship. You can nurture your relationship by setting clear boundaries, improving your conflict resolution skills, and being accountable for your mistakes. You can bring a happier self to the relationship by adding more joy to your life and taking care of your basic needs.
If you enjoyed this article by Brindisi Olsen Bravo, you might also be interested in these:
How to Take Charge of Your Relationship
How to Set Boundaries In Your Relationship
5 Steps to Improve Your Relationship
10 Keys For Healthy Conflict Resolution in Your Relationship
